All This Penis Talk Is Creeping Me Out

I seem to have some sort of writer’s block lately. It’s not that I can’t think of anything to write about, it’s that I have so much to say that I can’t possibly fit it all in one blog, but it doesn’t break into separate blogs very well. That, and I want to rant about politics, a lot, but I don’t want this blog to be political. So, here I sit, so much to say and yet, no new blogs.

Back to the drawing board, or the internet, as it is known to many. Read read read. A few debates and *facepalms* and “smdh”s later I have something to say.

Stop talking about your son’s penis online. Actually, let’s extend that to, “stop talking about any child’s penis online.”  If you don’t have boys, or kids at all, you may wonder why any sane adult is talking about baby penises online and not getting arrested. They are not just talking about them, but praising or critiquing their appearance and future sexual performance. You think I’m crazy? Perhaps I’ve been reading too much of The Onion?

Behold, proof of my sanity:

Grown women (and some men), discussing baby penises and their children’s future sex lives. I’m sure you’ve seen these debates and discussions a million times and maybe not thought much of it. I have participated a few times and it leaves me feeling icky. I researched this topic, weighed the pros and cons and made the decision that I feel is right for us, but, other than to help someone who is looking for facts, I am not going to discuss it. I’m not ashamed, in fact, I’m pleased with my choice. I’m just… discreet. I don’t want to talk to total strangers about my sons’ penis. I definitely don’t want to join the ranks of parents discussing which type of penis is more attractive or which one will please their future wives more. It’s creepy.

Can we all agree to start pointing this out to people? Any time someone says, “Uncircumcised penises are ugly” or “circumcised penises don’t feel as good” can we all just call bullshit. You would not tell someone to base a decision about their daughter’s body on how it will make them look or how it will make their future husband feel about them sexually, that’s just plain creepy, so why in the free world would you think it is okay to say they should base any a decision about their son’s genitals on that criteria?

Also, it’s just rude. Every time you say in public, “a un/circumcised penis is funny looking/bad in bed/weird/ugly/gross/less sensitive/etc.” you offend not only the men in that group but their wives who enjoy them the way they are and their mothers who made the choice. It’s not only creepy, it’s mean.

While we’re at it, here’s a few more things not to discuss online:

  • Any other subject that has to do with a part of your child you normally cover with a diaper. Obvious exclusions to this rule would be in groups specifically made to discuss health or diapering issues.
  • Anything that comes out of these areas. Again with the obvious exclusions.
  • Baby names you hate. This one is less of a privacy issue and more in the, “don’t be a dick” category. The internet is forever, be nice to friends’ kids, even if you don’t know them.

 

What would you include?

 

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