NASA Needs To Hire More Parents

They say, “Necessity is the mother of invention.” Well, mothers, start inventing. Make me a sippy cup that doesn’t spill but also doesn’t have 6 parts that need taken apart, removed and soaked in the urine of a dove to keep from getting moldy. Some cups really do have 4 parts and mothers review them as easy. Not that I’m saying she’s wrong, that’s just not my brand of easy. Don’t even get me started on the straw cups that have as many as 6 parts to disassemble and clean.

I like the old fashioned, spoutless cups but I also like my furniture. Sort of.  I don’t really want it covered in milk even on the days I’m most angry with it. We bought a few cups that were just a cup and a spill-proof  lid but they were also basically bottles and the lid still got moldy eventually. Avent makes great infant transition cups but they do spill and Tupperware still makes the best sippy cup ever, even though it also still has potential to spill. That’s my assessment after 17 years of parenting 4 kids and close to 25  years of childcare. (Balls, I am old.)

I feel like in that time there should have been some major advancements in sippy cups besides just adding more annoying pieces that need cleaned daily with the tears of a unicorn to keep sanitary. We are a civilization that put a man on the moon. Our generation has a rover on Mars. Can I get a decent sippy cup that doesn’t spill, doesn’t cost more than the drink inside of it and doesn’t mold?

While you are it, mothers of invention, can you create a car seat that doesn’t require a Master’s degree and/or the strength of a skilled laborer? We have nice car seats. Sharkboy’s seat will never need upgraded. He can use it until he is old enough to drive his own car, which is about how long they are required to use booster seats now. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to unhook it without standing in his lap and wrenching it out with the help of some WD40. Then, of course, there is the brain teaser of taking it apart to wash and switching the belt positioning for bigger kids. While seats themselves have vastly improved between Goldy’s day and SpiderMonkey’s first seat, they are still a mess in the back.

A background in rocket science couldn’t hurt.

They are a lot easier to hook into the car than they were 17 years ago but you will still want a professional to check your work. Yes, there are people certified to ensure your seat is safely hooked into your car. You might scoff and think this is completely unnecessary but I would suggest having your seat reviewed. Unless you actually work for NASA  it is likely you made a mistake, as up to 80% of all parents do.

I can send a message to my friend in another country and receive a reply faster than I can get Sharkboy out of his seat.  When it is a humid 102 degrees outside I consider this necessity, the mother of invention. I also consider this beyond my skill set.

Rocket scientists of the world, I ask of you, please procreate. We need your intelligence and ingenuity in the world of parenting. I could go on with the many parenting tasks you could make easier if only you were faced with the problem yourself. Sippy cups and car seats are just the beginning.

What would you like to see improved and how would you improve it?




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