Sharkboy’s Potty Training Chronicles – Part 2 – Who Has A What

Today Sharkboy followed me to the bathroom so he could potty, too. We go this way a lot. I have to pee so he joins me and I nearly pee my pants while helping him get his down.

We have had a lot of talks about who is a girl and who is a boy because he had trouble with pronouns. Goldy is a she, Daddy is a he, etc.  We have never discussed the difference in our anatomy, though. It’s just never come up. Until today.

Me: Are you going to pee? You’ve been sitting there awhile.

Sharkboy: Yes. It’s in my peepee.

Me: You feel the urine in your penis? (I don’t care what he calls it but I like to use the correct terms sometimes so he knows what they are.)

SB: Yesss. There is pee in my peepee. Is there pee in your peepee?

Me: No, I’m done, see, I’m wiping.

SB: You don’t have any pee in your penis?

Me: I don’t have a penis.

His face went through a series of expressions from skepticism to confusion to concern in a matter of a few seconds. Meanwhile, I am pulling up my pants before he decides to check and washing my hands.

SB: Where is your penis?

Me: Girls don’t have penises. We have…

SB: Peepees?

Me: We have vaginas? Not really though. I mean we do, but we don’t pee with our vaginas. We have vulvas, I guess.

This is my best friend H-Bomb’s fault. I raised two perfectly healthy, self aware daughters using the term vagina to describe female genitals for potty training but all it took was one harmless, honest question to throw me off. She texted one night to ask me the correct term and I wasn’t quite sure. Obviously.

SB: Where is your penis.

Me: I don’t have a penis. I have a vulva.

SB: Noooo! Silly goose!

Me: No really. Boys have a penis and girls have a… I guess it’s a vulva. Or a vagina. It’s complicated.

SB: Where is your penis?

Me: I don’t have a penis, I’m a girl. You have a penis. Daddy has a penis. Brudder has a penis. You are all boys. (It was at this point I realized that even though he joins us in the bathroom sometimes he has never seen the difference between boys and girls. A penis is slightly more obvious than… whatever girls have. He used to watch me change his brother’s diaper but he has never really seen a naked girl. I mean, he’s two.)

SB: Brudder is a boy. He has a penis.

Me: Yes!

SB: You have a complicate.

Me: I have a what?

SB: You don’t have a volvo, you have a complicate.

And that, Naptime friends, is how Sharkboy discovered the real difference between boys and girls at the young age of two. Boys have a penis and girls are complicated.

Click here for Part One

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Vanessa
    Jun 19, 2012 @ 19:50:42

    LOL That is too funny! I agree it is complicated. My guess is that since it is pretty complicated people just use the easiest, boys have a penis and girls have a vagina, line.

    Reply

  2. imaginalcellsofchange
    Jun 19, 2012 @ 21:44:47

    I like to use the word yoni instead of vagina. I guess vagina means sheath as in for a sword. A lot of women have begun to call their lady parts yoni as a statement. It is, I believe, an Indian word that encapsulates all of the lifegiving parts of the female anatomy. The word for penis is lingham. I think yoni sounds prettier and lingham sounds weirder. It took me a while to feel comfortable saying yoni and vagina still slips in. It feels more special when I call it that. Vagina seems so clinical.

    This story is hilarious. Girls are complicated.

    Reply

  3. Suzy Q
    Jun 20, 2012 @ 02:04:30

    My boys swore that girls have a penis. I quote: “They just keep it tucked between their legs.” This was after seeing their girl cousin get her diaper changed.

    Reply

  4. break_inferno
    Jun 20, 2012 @ 22:32:54

    That is awesome Raz.

    Reply

  5. Brooke
    Jun 25, 2012 @ 13:14:53

    LMAO… Oh the things that come out of children’s mouths.. I love it!

    Reply

  6. Trackback: Parents Are People, Too (aka A Good Ol’ Fashioned Guilt trip) « Naptime Is For Drinking

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