A Disclaimer For Morons

*giant sigh*

*even bigger eyeroll*

I shouldn’t have to write this, but here I am, writing it.

I work with other people’s children Monday through Friday. I don’t really drink while they are napping. They don’t even all nap. Monster Princess is 4 so she reads stories or watches a movie while the little ones sleep. Sometimes she sleeps, but I do not take that opportunity to get “shitfaced drunk while watching babies.”

I do sometimes drink while caring for my own children and I don’t really care what anyone else thinks about that. I will say, if you don’t know the difference between “drinking” and “getting shitfaced” then perhaps you are the one with a drinking problem.

*in case you didn't notice the carbonation or color, that's POP

Me. Eight months pregnant with Sharkbaby.*

I can, in fact, go a whole day without drinking. I went 9 months without drinking. FOUR TIMES. That is 3 years of not drinking, in case your math is as ridiculous as your grammar. I’m a social drinker, usually, but sometimes when The Barkeep and I are sitting in the sun or just watching a movie together I choose to call that a social activity and I have a drink or two. I can do that because I am the mother and I decide who drinks what around my kids.

My secret is out. I’m not throwing keg parties in the addition while the kids nap. I’m cleaning the kitchen or sitting on my ass writing a blog, wishing I had a drink, not because of the kids so much as all the morons.

Naptime IS for drinking, but who has time for that? If you have kids you drink when you can or not at all and either one is cool with me. Just keep your cup sniffing snout out of my business. Thankyouverymuch.

* In case you did not notice the color or carbonation, it’s Diet Pepsi, not wine.


8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. CJ
    Jun 13, 2012 @ 16:07:39

    i drink when my kids are in bed, be it a nap during the weekends or in bed for the night. and I surely dont give a F what anyone thinks about that! i love your blog and its rediculous that you even have to write something to explain yourself. Once when my son was little, my husband and I were having drinks after he was sleeping. My mother in law called and said -gasp- “what will you do with “J” when he wakes up?!” ohh gee I dont know, ma… we might be in a drunken stuper and not be able to handle ourselves. OR (and heres just a thought) we might be adults and, oh I dont know, take care of what needs to be taken care of when he wakes up! Some people are so stuffy!


  2. Melissa Limasse
    Jun 14, 2012 @ 03:00:15

    You actually had to clarify this? People are stupid.


  3. Maura
    Jun 14, 2012 @ 03:31:05

    I personally have never seen you shitfaced, and considering I usually run into you at a bar…Speaking of which, we need to run into each other soon, I miss your smile!


  4. Scott Witmer
    Jun 14, 2012 @ 14:50:49

    I am offended by your post. Must you keep bragging about your fancy new addition that is large enough to host keg parties?
    (that was supposed to be in sarcastic/just kidding font, but your blog doesn’t support it)
    Another great post. Keep up the good work! I’ll raise a toast your success as I watch my children play in the backyard.


    • razfabulous
      Jun 14, 2012 @ 15:11:05

      My addition would be an excellent place for keg parties right now! there are no inside walls so it’s just a huge open space. The frame is there for future walls but you can walk right through them still which is funny when you’re drinking. “Look at me, I can walk through walls!” [/brag]

      The rest of my house already looks like we just had a keg party, though…


  5. Trackback: Have A Nice Day | Naptime Is For Drinking

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