Keep It In Your Pants

I know, I know, I just blogged yesterday, but this has been on my mind for awhile and then Friday night it became very relevant so I need to get it out there in the world so I can stop being so pissed off.

Every time I see another news story about yet another horny, stupid politician or celebrity sending pictures of his wiener to girls he met online or sleeping with his babysitter or some other ridiculous type of affair my first reaction is: *giant eye roll* Could you be any more cliché? *yawn* My next thought is, that is so, so sad.

In my observation it seems there are two kinds of guys who cheat or very nearly almost cheat by showing off their junk to random strangers or buying them enough expensive jewelry to put my kids through college. First there are the misogynist b-holes that treat women like objects and don’t care who they hurt. This guy is handsome and charming until you get to know him. He usually only has a wife and family to look socially acceptable so dragging them through a media circus isn’t the hell for him it would be for most people. He is more concerned about how it affects him and how it makes him look.  He will continue sleeping around and cheating until he loses the ability or women are too repulsed by him. This guy is a jerk and I hope he ends up alone. Ya know that guy drinking alone at the end every bar who says his kids won’t even talk to him because his ex-wife is a vindictive bitch? That’s who this guy should and will turn into. Rot.

Then there is the more common cheater. This guy is generally a good guy, with good friends and a family he genuinely cares about. Unfortunately he is also an insecure child that lacks the skills to acquire the validation he so desperately needs, so instead he asks random women to look at his peepee and tell him it is very big and he is very powerful. This type is more depressing than the first because you probably know him and like him. Seeing his family fall apart is sad for everyone and eventually he will regret it, if not immediately. He will probably get a new wife or girlfriend and he will probably pull the same stupid crap with her because he probably will not learn how to communicate open and honestly to get the validation he needs to feel secure.

I know women cheat, too, but that’s not what I’m ranting about today so just sit down and read and don’t get your boxers in a bunch. I’m pissed at the boys right now, girls can have a turn some other day. Trust me, I’ve got some cheating wife stories.

My friend’s husband left her for a woman he met on a dating website. Two weeks ago. So, obviously it wasn’t a chance meeting with destiny (barf) and they are not madly in love. He needs someone to tell him his penis is as big as his ego. I would think my friend’s complete and total dedication during his serious (and really gross) illness would have been validation enough for both his penis and his ego but no, this spoiled brat needs more. I hadn’t mean to make this so personal but, like I said, I’m pissed.

I’m angry on behalf of all the women who stroke the egos of these children only to have the real children in the situation get wounded by their asshole father. That’s why I get depressed when I see news stories about idiot politicians and celebrities doing stupid things that destroy their lives, because while the rest of the world is clamoring for more details and more dirt I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know about his wife and what she did or did not do to “deserve” his indiscretions. I don’t want to think about his children because clearly he was not thinking about them when he picked up the phone, keyboard, check or condom. While they make the pages of People all I can think about is that these are people.


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. dana
    May 28, 2012 @ 23:55:04



  2. Lacey Jo
    May 29, 2012 @ 03:51:42



  3. Brooke Vannatta Ruemmele
    May 30, 2012 @ 14:56:06



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